Are You Codependent? 5 Tell-Tale Signs

When you hear the word “codependency,” you may immediately think of a dependence on drugs and or alcohol.

While this can be true, did you know that relationships can be codependent, too?

Relationships that are codependent are similar to being dependent on substances. Someone who is in a codependent relationship may show similar signs of dependence to their partner. While this may seem like a positive attribute in a relationship, it can actually be a sign of an unhealthy relationship, much like a dependence on substances. Too much of something can be a bad thing.

Are you codependent? Here are 5 tell-tale signs.

1. Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is an extremely common trait found in codependent relationships. Although codependent individuals are usually the primary caretakers and givers in their relationships, they lack self-esteem and actually rely on their partners to make them feel better about themselves. Codependent individuals find self-worth or boost their self-esteem by helping others and feeling wanted and needed. Even if someone realizes they are in somewhat of an unhealthy and codependent relationship, they may worry about being alone if they were to leave or end things with their partner.

2. Lack of Boundaries

Boundaries are essential in all types of healthy relationships. While boundaries may seem like a harsh ask, especially when asking someone you love like a partner. In reality, boundaries are necessary to ensure that you’re protecting your overall mental health and wellness. Make sure you’re not dismissing your wants and needs or compromising your morals and beliefs just to be with your partner. If your partner loves and respects you, they should abide by the boundaries you have set for yourself and your relationship.

3. Avoid Conflict

A lack of boundaries goes hand in hand with avoiding conflict. While it may seem like a positive sign of a relationship to never fight or argue, this can also be a sign of codependency. Disagreements can be a healthy factor in a relationship. They help two parties work through any differences to improve communication moving forward. In codependent relationships, it can be easy to avoid conflict and avoid having difficult conversations. It’s easier to push any issues to the side so that you don’t have to fight or argue with one another. In the long run, this can lead to feelings of resentment.

4. Relationship is One-Sided

In a codependent relationship, there are usually clear signs of one partner giving while the other partner takes. This one-sidedness could come from several different factors, such as emotional, financial, or physical labor. Not all relationships have to be completely 50/50. That being said, there still needs to be some balance for them to be healthy.

5. Lack of Independence

Healthy relationships involve spending time with your partner but also finding time to meet your wants and needs. Relationships don’t mean spending every single second of every day with your partner. You and your partner each have your own lives. Even if you live together, you each have your own careers, friends, family, and hobbies.

Codependent relationships aren’t typically set up in this way. It can be difficult to differentiate your own hobbies and interests from your partners if you’re involved in a codependent relationship. Think about the last time you hung out with friends or family without your partner. Is there a hobby that you were interested in before meeting your partner that you haven’t done since you started dating? These are all signs of being involved in a codependent relationship.

How to Move Forward

If you’re experiencing signs of codependency, don’t worry. You’re not alone if you show some of these signs and symptoms. There are also ways that you can turn that unhealthy relationship into a healthy one. Don’t delay in getting the help that you need and deserve. Reach out to us today to see how we can help you improve your relationship with yourself and your partner.