Perfectionism: 6 Defining Traits
Ten out of ten. One hundred percent. A perfect score. An A+.
You’ve always strived to do your best in everything you’ve done, whether that was a homework assignment, a group project, a quiz, or a test. Even in sports, you aim to win, to have the most points, or the best statistics.
But there’s a dark underbelly to striving for perfection. It’s exhausting. It steals time. And despite all your efforts, nothing ever feels perfect enough. If this sounds familiar, you might be struggling with perfectionism. Here are six defining traits.
1. Extremely Critical
Perfectionists tend to be extremely critical of themselves. They hold themselves to higher standards. Often, these standards are too high for even them, and they may not always be able to meet or exceed the goals they set for themselves. Unfortunately, this can bring negative feelings towards oneself.
2. Low Self-Esteem
A lot of perfectionists tend to have lower levels of self-esteem. This may seem like a shock to most people, especially because people who are deemed high achievers typically have high levels of self-esteem. They’re extremely critical of themselves, which can lead to negative feelings, but they also tend to push others away due to how critical they are as well. Both of these actions can contribute to lower self-esteem.
3. Not Feeling Good Enough
Another way to spot a perfectionist is someone who never quite feels like they’re good enough. If a perfectionist were to get one question wrong on a test or quiz, they would feel like they failed. Even if they received feedback that they gave a great presentation at work, they might pick apart their speech for flaws. They tend to focus on more of the negative actions over the more positive ones. To perfectionists, not being perfect means failure. There isn’t a good job; there’s only a perfect one.
4. Defensive
While perfectionists have no problem being highly critical or negative towards themselves, they have a harder time accepting feedback or criticism from others. While they want their work to be perfect, they don’t want others to see that something they did wasn’t perfect. This fear can make them defensive when someone tries to give them constructive criticism instead of using the information to help them in the future.
5. Procrastination
You may not think that procrastinating is a quality of a perfectionist, but this trait is actually another sign of perfectionism. Perfectionists tend to procrastinate because they want to do a good job. They want everything to be perfect, which can spark a fear of failure. This can make it harder for them to get started or finish a task or project because of anxiety.
6. Results Driven
Perfectionists like to see the finish line when they work on a project. They have a harder time picturing the process of actually getting to that finish line. For example, if they aim to lose five pounds, they may have a harder time accepting that it won’t happen overnight. The process of losing those five pounds may come with losing one pound and gaining two pounds back. Because they’re so focused on the end goal, they’ll have a much harder time accepting and enjoying the full process, positives and negatives, of actually reaching that goal.
Next Steps
If some of these traits sound a bit too familiar, help is available to you. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do your best, perfectionism can lead to unneeded anxiety and stress. Recognizing the signs is a great first step. If you’re interested in learning how to overcome your perfectionism, contact us today to set up a consultation.