Why Does Grief Come in Waves?

You may have heard the expression that grief comes in waves. All oceans are different and unpredictable, just like grief. Just like waves, one minute everything feels calm only for a huge wave to knock you down.The first time you suffer loss, it can feel like you are fighting waves that are making your life harder. You feel like the calmness of the waves will never set in. But when you least expect it, your grief does become smoother. You will gain the energy back to be able to fight these monstrous waves of emotion.Here are reasons why grief comes in waves.

Grief is Hard to Process

Grief has a way of making you feel numb at first because you are in so much shock that a person you see all the time will not be there anymore. The mind can only handle so much change that can impact your life.Losing someone can also take a toll on your mental health. You may have struggled with depression before, only for your episodes to come back after this loss. Or you developed depression as a result of a loss. No matter how depression comes to you, it is always important that you talk to someone.

The Struggle for Acceptance

Even months or years later, it can still feel hard to believe this tragic life change. You could look out into a crowd and think you see that person who has died. When you call out to them, and they turn around, you realize you made a mistake. Whether this death is expected or unexpected, you never know how this loss will affect you. There are some things in life that you cannot prepare for until it happens.

Grief Can Be Messy

Just like when you are lying down in the ocean, there are calm times when you can ride through the waves. Other times, the waves may leave you tossed or doused.People experiencing grief can feel numb, sad, guilty, and even angry. With time, these feelings lessen. Grief has no timeline, but the severity often softens with time as you ride through the waves. Complicated grief is a different story where your sadness will continue to get worse with symptoms such as-

• Intense sadness
• Trouble concentrating
• Bitterness
• Hopelessness
• Isolation
• Cannot return to the normal routine
• Feeling like you cannot go on

Without speaking to someone, you can get stuck in your complicated grief, taking a tremendous toll on your life.

Surrounded by Triggers

Just when you think you are healing from grief, you notice triggers. You can look at that person’s favorite food and feel emotional from that. The same can be said when a song on the radio triggers you to think of a moment you had with them. The longer you have known that person, it can seem like everything reminds you of that person.

How to Deal with Waves of Grief

There may be a lot of trial and error when it comes to different healing methods for grief, but you will get there with patience. One thing that will help you feel much better is talking to someone about what you are going through. Give your friend, relative, or therapist a chance to help. Being seen and heard helps to process grief.You can find books on grief to help you gain a new perspective and feel less alone. You can also find a spiritual guide to provide you with clarity.If you are still struggling with grief, here at JoyFeel Therapy, we are here to listen and support you. Contact us today!