How to Cope During the Holidays After You’ve Lost a Loved One

Via How to Cope During the Holidays After You’ve Lost a Loved One

Grief is difficult to cope with on the best of days, but the holidays bring in a different kind of sadness. After all, it’s supposed to be a joyful time, and any memories we may have of ourselves and our loved ones celebrating the holidays might feel particularly painful. We might not feel like there’s a place for our grief during the holidays, but grief doesn’t take a break. And contrary to what we might think, both can coexist. It’s just a matter of finding the right balance.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

We must allow ourselves to grieve, even during a time that’s meant to be joyful. We can’t pause our grief because it arrives at an inconvenient time. Instead, we can use this opportunity to honor our lost one in one way or another. Maybe we’ll cook their favorite meal one evening and have a private celebration.

Whatever it is we’re feeling during this time is okay. If we feel our grief strongly one day and then find it bearable enough to go celebrate the next, that’s perfectly fine. Grief isn’t linear, and every day will bring something different. Let’s not restrict ourselves based on what we think we should be doing. It’s better for us to check in with ourselves every day and see what’s best for us as we go.

Take Care of Yourself

Alcohol and holidays go hand-in-hand for some, but when we’re grieving, we might feel the pull of it a little more than usual. It might be tempting to engage in self-destructive behaviors as a way to escape our grief and hide it under the guise of celebration, but now more than ever, we should be taking care of ourselves.

Our best move is to take things easy. We see what we need every morning when we wake up. We check what we feel like doing. And if people try to force us into celebrations when we’re not ready or too consumed with grief to be around others, then this is the right time to establish some boundaries. During difficult times, our well-being comes first, and our loved ones will understand that when we tell them.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

While we shouldn’t force ourselves to interact with people and go to celebrations every day, we must find a time when we can be around our loved ones. Having some time alone is important, especially when grieving, but too much isolation can be a bad thing. Some of us tire of people’s company more easily than others, so if one afternoon or two during the holidays is all we can spare, then that’s perfectly fine. Just as long as we remember to surround ourselves with people we care about when we have the energy to, we’ll be okay.

Seek Support

Grieving during the holidays is difficult and might seem a little out of place even to ourselves. But the truth is, we’re not the only ones who struggle with this. There are more people like us, people who, unfortunately, also have to deal with the loss of a loved one during the holidays. There are support groups to help us find each other and help us find people who understand what we’re going through. That kind of support and understanding can help us get through this.

Of course, there is no one way to deal with loss during the holidays. We are all different, and we all have very different needs. If support groups aren’t for us, or if we need more help than they can offer, we might want to try a one-on-one approach like counseling. All we need to do is take the first step and make an appointment.